Dealing With/Healing Depression
I have noticed many Christians deal with depression. I used to myself. It’s something we need to look into.
Much of this may be due to living under a burden (much of it likely overblown – but we didn’t know how to deal with it at the time) of guilt, accusation and resulting shame that may have been laid into our spirits when we were young and vulnerable. So now it just resides there deep in our spirits, raising it’s ugly head every so often to torment us. We deserve better – and we’re older and wiser so we can now address these issues that were laid in there and put them into the proper context – giving us higher self worth and greater freedom.
Let’s look at where guilt, accusation and shame may have formed and taken root in our lives leading to depression. Another factor may be living under the burden of trying to fulfill expectations put upon us previously in our life. They may have been unfair and/or we may not have had the skills to properly deal with them. (Don’t be scared to go there, this is all being done in the context of you being of much greater value than anything that happened in your life – and you are of greater value – you’ll see that more as we go along).
We were created to be spiritual beings – fully alive, excited, secure and wholehearted in our spirits. But you don’t see or experience that too often, do you? That’s because most of us have had our spirits beat down and it’s taken a toll on our self-concept and self-worth, sometimes to the point of laying despair deep in our hearts. Sometimes we are even hesitant to allow our spirits to be lifted because they will just be brought back down again. How do we restore a healthy spirit? There are ways.
Much of this beating down occurs in the context of living under the concept of the law or expectations (self imposed or other imposed). We fall short of the law or these expectations and get down on ourselves in some form. It was not properly positioned in the full context of our whole being, so it penetrates deeper in our spirit than it needed to, causing unnecessary negative effects. Rather than having our spirit delighted in and our value upheld in the midst of failure (we are more valuable than the failure or expectation), we dysfunctionally tied our whole (or significant portion thereof) self-concept to the failure and took a dive into low self worth. That’s not healthy, nor is it fair – yet it is very common. Many of us have lived in a critical environment or felt inadequate to please someone significant or been in an environment where we were controlled by guilt. This can take a toll on and erode and distort our spirits – and likely has. It often shows up later in the form of depression or anger. We need to realize that our failures did not need to be tied to our whole self-concept back then and our self worth far transcends the stumbling that may have occurred in our lives. We all stumble and do stupid things in our lives - its part of the growth process. Now as adults, we need to put the criticism and accusation we have received into the proper context to give our spirits a fair chance. Much of it wasn’t fair. We need to bring it around to a proper, healthy concept of fairness and restore the true high self worth we are deserving of.
Who is the definer and keeper of our self worth? Is it us? Is it what people think of us? Is it how God thinks of us? Where’s the safest place to keep our self worth? Interesting questions to ponder. If you think about it, most of us have defined our self worth in light of how others see us. This may be parents, siblings, friends, teachers, bosses, ministers, etc. – people who had influence on our lives. In many cases, being young and ill equipped, our spirits were unnecessarily tossed to and fro by these interactions. If it was a fair, sensitive environment and we were mature enough to not misinterpret things, our spirits would not have been wounded by the actions. That would have been ideal - but it doesn't always happen that way. We need to pierce through the distortions inherent in these interactions and see what our true self worth is. Pretty scary, huh? It was to me when something prompted that I do that. I was afraid to go there. What if I found out I was no good like I felt down deep? Then what? I would have nowhere else to go. I used to feel like I would never join any club that would have me as a member. But…for some reason, after some serious arguing and reasoning with God, I slowly went there – and got totally surprised – and set free. It is possible. We owe it to ourselves. It can be done in the proper context. If you want someone to walk alongside to help, feel free to call me.
Let’s look at some things that may have laid the roots of depression and empowered it in us. The more we understand the dysfunctional way it formed, the more we can restore a proper and healthy self-concept that is not prone to being dragged down into the pit of despair.
How An Improper Concept Of The Law or Expectations Can Sow Roots Of Depresssion
Let’s see how an improper (but popular) orientation to the law or expectations can lead to depression.
We were never meant to try and fulfill the law.
Many of us, as Christians, live within the context of the Ten Commandments or the law, trying to fulfill them. When we fail at doing what is right or meeting an expectation, we tend to beat ourselves up – or someone will do or has done it for us. The reality is - we can’t fulfill the law or meet all expectations, period. We are imperfect. Jesus said we will fail in some area. And when we do fail, our self-concept often takes a hit. OK, so let’s give that up. We were never meant to try and fulfill the law. We’re not going to do that anymore. Now that would be a burden released and quite refreshing wouldn’t it? We don’t have to try constantly to fulfill the law. Ahhh, the spirit begins to reawaken. That’s what we want – a live spirit – not one that has been beat down by the law – as so many have. So…is chaos going to result if we stop trying to fulfill the law? No, something of surpassing value will come in and take its place. As the spirit is refreshed, new desires form that allow security, excitement and wholeheartedness to take proper root in us replacing the distorted roots that have been formed in us which cause depression. To put these things in proper context, we have to begin to realize our true self worth, not the lies (yes they're lies) we have learned to believe about ourselves, but what is the truth from on high. Overtime, that begins to override our distorted feelings and begins to heal and restore the spirit. We’ll explore how as we proceed.
Satan distorts the law, lying to us and unfairly accusing us
(If you don’t believe in this spiritual dimension – read it anyways. Downstream in your life experience It might click and reveal something. Never hurts.)
Satan takes the law and expectations, and our attempts to fulfill them, and resulting failures, and becomes the great accuser, making us feel like failures, worthless and unworthy (now that’s depressing). Yes, he accuses us through guilt and condemnation down to the core of our being trying to make us “feel” worthless and unworthy. And he does a good job of it. He tries to steal, kill and destroy our self-worth. He knows that we were created in God’s image, and he wants to destroy that image within us. If he does it he can steal all the glory that God wants to build in us (yes, you). And he doesn’t play fair. He’s been working on us for years, generations even. The accuser has been accusing us all our lives to the point of subliminally convincing us in the depths of our being that we are unworthy. This misconception and erosion of our true value builds a layer of shame deep down in our spirits – all related in some way to falling short of the law or who we “should” be. (Ah, those “shoulds”…not to mention those “have to’s”). It wears on us to the point that down deep we begin to feel like worthless failures – and often we don’t even know why! As I said, I used to feel like I would never join any club that would have me as a member. My self esteem was that bad. So this shame, deeply embedded in us, pops up every so often out of nowhere making us feel we are not worthy in some form – and we despair of something and get depressed. He’s got us coming or going. He’s laid the roots (they are false – as we’ll see) of despair deep in us and every so often he pushes these subliminal buttons, that we may not even be aware of, and gets us to feeling worthless and no good. We have to learn to stop playing his game. It is cloaked in lies and unfairly oppresses the spirit. God desires to revitalize the spirit. That's what redemption is all about. Let’s go there.
Reiigion is a poor substitute for relationship.
Unfortunately, many of us in our “spiritual” experience have succumbed to the practice of religion, rather than engaging in an intimate relationship with the Author and Perfector of who we are. Don’t feel guilty, most of us were taught more about the practices and precepts of religion than how to have an intimate, vital relationship with God. Many of us don’t even want to get near God, because religion has made Him into a judgmental, condemning God rather than one who so delights in us that He would sacrifice His only Son to restore us to intimate fellowship with Him. Jesus came to restore a relationship, not form a religion. Why is that significant here? A relationship is spiritual, dynamic, affirming and experientially real (once we learn how to go about it) , whereas the practice of religion can be a poor legalistic facsimile filled with the very “shoulds” and “have to’s” that can, when improperly interpreted take a toll on our self-concept. The religious approach can actually oppress the spirit in its practice rather than revive and delight in it like a relationship can to bring it to its fullness. God wants to delight in your spirit to bring it to its fullness. Wouldn’t being delighted in be more refreshing than the continual oppressive guilt trips of the law? I should think so! We are so engrained in being put down by the guilt trips, both explicit and subliminal that we can’t get our bearings to go on to the fullness we deserve. It even may go to the point that self puts self down in our self-reliance. We’ve learned the wrong skills.
And now…
So we’ve seen that we no longer have to try and fulfill the law or meet unrealistic expectations – because we couldn’t do it anyway. What a relief! So that’s a burden released off of us. No more beating ourselves up for “shoulds” and “have to’s”. But it gets better. The Author of our being actually delights in us just as we are and wants to get intimately acquainted with us. He is not in the least deterred by our imperfection. (Now if only some of the church members could not be deterred by them). He even says, “While we were yet sinners (imperfect, having failed miserably, even crucifying Him) He died for us.” It didn’t bother Him. He must have great value in us to do that – more than we can place on ourselves – and He knows us better than we know ourselves – He knows everything about us. Well, that sure is reassuring as to our value that the Creator sends His own Son, while we were all messed up, to redeem us. Rather than lying to us and accusing us like Satan, He’s doing the very opposite - laying His very life down to show us how completely valuable we are. Sounds like a healthier place to explore your self-concept, now doesn't it. Our only problem now is...we don't believe we are of great value. So...He's got some reasoning and convincing to do. And He'll gladly take the time to do that with us. He'll meet us right were we are, imperfect and all, and gradually peel off the lies of the thief and convince us of our true value. And you'll have it on the highest authority.
Yes, He acknowledges there is a layer of sin we picked up when Adam and Eve fell from intimacy in the Garden. But that is not His focus or how He sees us. He took care of all that on the cross. He sees us like He says in Psalm 139:14 – "we are fearfully and wonderfully made"! The law relates to sin exposing our need for a Savior due to our falling short – but the Savior relates to restoring our precious intimacy and value. He is not about condemnation. As we reason with and explore Him, we can begin to cast aside (it takes time) the lies of the thief in all His accusations and begin to see the truth of how much God delights in us. Yes, He actually delights in you. I had a hard time believing that one and I reasoned and argued with Him about it until He convinced me - it took a year and a half - but I was convinced and my feet were put upon a rock, and the depression went away. He installed a new foundation of value built on delight rather than despair.
This can be a hard concept for many to grasp. When I started reasoning with Him, I was convinced down deep that I was no good. So He and I had a knock-down, drag out “discussion” for a year and half for Him to finally convince me I was fearfully and wonderfully made. He took the time to field all my arguments and put to rest my fears and convince me how I WAS fearfully and wonderfully made. He put great value on me – more value than the accuser could suppress or destroy. The time He spent with me doing that was very meaningful and convincing.
In Isaiah 1:18 He says, “Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord; though your sins are as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool.” Awesome. That’s what He wants for each of us. He wants to rectify the lies and accusations of the thief that have been oppressing us most of our lives, and set our spirits free. He wants to restore our proper self-concept, rooted in His image, not tossed to and fro by every whim of opinion that comes our way. This takes time. We have to learn that it is alright to be straight up with God – and He won’t condemn us or be shocked. He knows it all already so it’s nothing new to Him. In fact, He’s eagerly waiting for us (He already died for us to facilitate it happening) to talk straight with Him about the screwy motives and desires of our hearts (He knows them already – it won’t shock Him) so He can begin to sort out the lies and restore the truth that sets us free. He doesn't focus on actions so much as He does on convincing us of the surpassing value on better things. This changes our desires and builds new convictions. For from desires come actions. He changes the desires by winning our hearts. It’s a beautiful process. You’ll fall in love with Him as it happens. The time He spends with you becomes precious and beautiful. That’s why Satan tries to destroy our true value with lies, accusations and religious distortions to bring us into despair. He knows how awesome we become as God's love, delight and value form in us.
Here’s an example of how God reaches out to us. Remember when God knocked Saul off his horse in the Book of Acts? What did He say to him? Did He give him a command and say, “Saul, stop persecuting me?” No. He said, “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?” Saying someone’s name twice back then was a term of endearment and intimacy. He reached out in intimacy to Saul. Sweet. He wanted to engage in a relationship. And notice He didn’t command him to stop persecuting Him, He reached out and asked him “Why do you persecute me?”. He was going directly to Saul’s desires and motives, not his actions under the law. That’s where the real issue is. Satan wants us to focus on trying to change the fruit (actions) without first having God change the roots (desires) - through reasoning and convincing. That creates a form of godliness, a hollow one, that lacks the power thereof. Jesus knew if He could reason with Saul to give Him the proper desires and motives, the fulfillment of the law would naturally flow out of him. It wouldn’t just be a superficial, hollow, religious venture of obedience, but a deep, intimate experience of God’s power flowing into and through him and transforming His heart. Based on what I have learned of God in my journey out of striving under the law and condemnation into resting in His delight, I’ll bet Jesus may have said to him, “Saul, I love your spirit, you’re just going the wrong direction.” He never crushed his spirit, but always protected it. He didn’t beat it down, but redirected it. Our Savior is all about restoring, redirecting and protecting our spirit. Start reasoning with Him - and let Him restore and redirect your spirit. He will do it in the most loving manner you ever experienced.
I have noticed many Christians deal with depression. I used to myself. It’s something we need to look into.
Much of this may be due to living under a burden (much of it likely overblown – but we didn’t know how to deal with it at the time) of guilt, accusation and resulting shame that may have been laid into our spirits when we were young and vulnerable. So now it just resides there deep in our spirits, raising it’s ugly head every so often to torment us. We deserve better – and we’re older and wiser so we can now address these issues that were laid in there and put them into the proper context – giving us higher self worth and greater freedom.
Let’s look at where guilt, accusation and shame may have formed and taken root in our lives leading to depression. Another factor may be living under the burden of trying to fulfill expectations put upon us previously in our life. They may have been unfair and/or we may not have had the skills to properly deal with them. (Don’t be scared to go there, this is all being done in the context of you being of much greater value than anything that happened in your life – and you are of greater value – you’ll see that more as we go along).
We were created to be spiritual beings – fully alive, excited, secure and wholehearted in our spirits. But you don’t see or experience that too often, do you? That’s because most of us have had our spirits beat down and it’s taken a toll on our self-concept and self-worth, sometimes to the point of laying despair deep in our hearts. Sometimes we are even hesitant to allow our spirits to be lifted because they will just be brought back down again. How do we restore a healthy spirit? There are ways.
Much of this beating down occurs in the context of living under the concept of the law or expectations (self imposed or other imposed). We fall short of the law or these expectations and get down on ourselves in some form. It was not properly positioned in the full context of our whole being, so it penetrates deeper in our spirit than it needed to, causing unnecessary negative effects. Rather than having our spirit delighted in and our value upheld in the midst of failure (we are more valuable than the failure or expectation), we dysfunctionally tied our whole (or significant portion thereof) self-concept to the failure and took a dive into low self worth. That’s not healthy, nor is it fair – yet it is very common. Many of us have lived in a critical environment or felt inadequate to please someone significant or been in an environment where we were controlled by guilt. This can take a toll on and erode and distort our spirits – and likely has. It often shows up later in the form of depression or anger. We need to realize that our failures did not need to be tied to our whole self-concept back then and our self worth far transcends the stumbling that may have occurred in our lives. We all stumble and do stupid things in our lives - its part of the growth process. Now as adults, we need to put the criticism and accusation we have received into the proper context to give our spirits a fair chance. Much of it wasn’t fair. We need to bring it around to a proper, healthy concept of fairness and restore the true high self worth we are deserving of.
Who is the definer and keeper of our self worth? Is it us? Is it what people think of us? Is it how God thinks of us? Where’s the safest place to keep our self worth? Interesting questions to ponder. If you think about it, most of us have defined our self worth in light of how others see us. This may be parents, siblings, friends, teachers, bosses, ministers, etc. – people who had influence on our lives. In many cases, being young and ill equipped, our spirits were unnecessarily tossed to and fro by these interactions. If it was a fair, sensitive environment and we were mature enough to not misinterpret things, our spirits would not have been wounded by the actions. That would have been ideal - but it doesn't always happen that way. We need to pierce through the distortions inherent in these interactions and see what our true self worth is. Pretty scary, huh? It was to me when something prompted that I do that. I was afraid to go there. What if I found out I was no good like I felt down deep? Then what? I would have nowhere else to go. I used to feel like I would never join any club that would have me as a member. But…for some reason, after some serious arguing and reasoning with God, I slowly went there – and got totally surprised – and set free. It is possible. We owe it to ourselves. It can be done in the proper context. If you want someone to walk alongside to help, feel free to call me.
Let’s look at some things that may have laid the roots of depression and empowered it in us. The more we understand the dysfunctional way it formed, the more we can restore a proper and healthy self-concept that is not prone to being dragged down into the pit of despair.
How An Improper Concept Of The Law or Expectations Can Sow Roots Of Depresssion
Let’s see how an improper (but popular) orientation to the law or expectations can lead to depression.
We were never meant to try and fulfill the law.
Many of us, as Christians, live within the context of the Ten Commandments or the law, trying to fulfill them. When we fail at doing what is right or meeting an expectation, we tend to beat ourselves up – or someone will do or has done it for us. The reality is - we can’t fulfill the law or meet all expectations, period. We are imperfect. Jesus said we will fail in some area. And when we do fail, our self-concept often takes a hit. OK, so let’s give that up. We were never meant to try and fulfill the law. We’re not going to do that anymore. Now that would be a burden released and quite refreshing wouldn’t it? We don’t have to try constantly to fulfill the law. Ahhh, the spirit begins to reawaken. That’s what we want – a live spirit – not one that has been beat down by the law – as so many have. So…is chaos going to result if we stop trying to fulfill the law? No, something of surpassing value will come in and take its place. As the spirit is refreshed, new desires form that allow security, excitement and wholeheartedness to take proper root in us replacing the distorted roots that have been formed in us which cause depression. To put these things in proper context, we have to begin to realize our true self worth, not the lies (yes they're lies) we have learned to believe about ourselves, but what is the truth from on high. Overtime, that begins to override our distorted feelings and begins to heal and restore the spirit. We’ll explore how as we proceed.
Satan distorts the law, lying to us and unfairly accusing us
(If you don’t believe in this spiritual dimension – read it anyways. Downstream in your life experience It might click and reveal something. Never hurts.)
Satan takes the law and expectations, and our attempts to fulfill them, and resulting failures, and becomes the great accuser, making us feel like failures, worthless and unworthy (now that’s depressing). Yes, he accuses us through guilt and condemnation down to the core of our being trying to make us “feel” worthless and unworthy. And he does a good job of it. He tries to steal, kill and destroy our self-worth. He knows that we were created in God’s image, and he wants to destroy that image within us. If he does it he can steal all the glory that God wants to build in us (yes, you). And he doesn’t play fair. He’s been working on us for years, generations even. The accuser has been accusing us all our lives to the point of subliminally convincing us in the depths of our being that we are unworthy. This misconception and erosion of our true value builds a layer of shame deep down in our spirits – all related in some way to falling short of the law or who we “should” be. (Ah, those “shoulds”…not to mention those “have to’s”). It wears on us to the point that down deep we begin to feel like worthless failures – and often we don’t even know why! As I said, I used to feel like I would never join any club that would have me as a member. My self esteem was that bad. So this shame, deeply embedded in us, pops up every so often out of nowhere making us feel we are not worthy in some form – and we despair of something and get depressed. He’s got us coming or going. He’s laid the roots (they are false – as we’ll see) of despair deep in us and every so often he pushes these subliminal buttons, that we may not even be aware of, and gets us to feeling worthless and no good. We have to learn to stop playing his game. It is cloaked in lies and unfairly oppresses the spirit. God desires to revitalize the spirit. That's what redemption is all about. Let’s go there.
Reiigion is a poor substitute for relationship.
Unfortunately, many of us in our “spiritual” experience have succumbed to the practice of religion, rather than engaging in an intimate relationship with the Author and Perfector of who we are. Don’t feel guilty, most of us were taught more about the practices and precepts of religion than how to have an intimate, vital relationship with God. Many of us don’t even want to get near God, because religion has made Him into a judgmental, condemning God rather than one who so delights in us that He would sacrifice His only Son to restore us to intimate fellowship with Him. Jesus came to restore a relationship, not form a religion. Why is that significant here? A relationship is spiritual, dynamic, affirming and experientially real (once we learn how to go about it) , whereas the practice of religion can be a poor legalistic facsimile filled with the very “shoulds” and “have to’s” that can, when improperly interpreted take a toll on our self-concept. The religious approach can actually oppress the spirit in its practice rather than revive and delight in it like a relationship can to bring it to its fullness. God wants to delight in your spirit to bring it to its fullness. Wouldn’t being delighted in be more refreshing than the continual oppressive guilt trips of the law? I should think so! We are so engrained in being put down by the guilt trips, both explicit and subliminal that we can’t get our bearings to go on to the fullness we deserve. It even may go to the point that self puts self down in our self-reliance. We’ve learned the wrong skills.
And now…
So we’ve seen that we no longer have to try and fulfill the law or meet unrealistic expectations – because we couldn’t do it anyway. What a relief! So that’s a burden released off of us. No more beating ourselves up for “shoulds” and “have to’s”. But it gets better. The Author of our being actually delights in us just as we are and wants to get intimately acquainted with us. He is not in the least deterred by our imperfection. (Now if only some of the church members could not be deterred by them). He even says, “While we were yet sinners (imperfect, having failed miserably, even crucifying Him) He died for us.” It didn’t bother Him. He must have great value in us to do that – more than we can place on ourselves – and He knows us better than we know ourselves – He knows everything about us. Well, that sure is reassuring as to our value that the Creator sends His own Son, while we were all messed up, to redeem us. Rather than lying to us and accusing us like Satan, He’s doing the very opposite - laying His very life down to show us how completely valuable we are. Sounds like a healthier place to explore your self-concept, now doesn't it. Our only problem now is...we don't believe we are of great value. So...He's got some reasoning and convincing to do. And He'll gladly take the time to do that with us. He'll meet us right were we are, imperfect and all, and gradually peel off the lies of the thief and convince us of our true value. And you'll have it on the highest authority.
Yes, He acknowledges there is a layer of sin we picked up when Adam and Eve fell from intimacy in the Garden. But that is not His focus or how He sees us. He took care of all that on the cross. He sees us like He says in Psalm 139:14 – "we are fearfully and wonderfully made"! The law relates to sin exposing our need for a Savior due to our falling short – but the Savior relates to restoring our precious intimacy and value. He is not about condemnation. As we reason with and explore Him, we can begin to cast aside (it takes time) the lies of the thief in all His accusations and begin to see the truth of how much God delights in us. Yes, He actually delights in you. I had a hard time believing that one and I reasoned and argued with Him about it until He convinced me - it took a year and a half - but I was convinced and my feet were put upon a rock, and the depression went away. He installed a new foundation of value built on delight rather than despair.
This can be a hard concept for many to grasp. When I started reasoning with Him, I was convinced down deep that I was no good. So He and I had a knock-down, drag out “discussion” for a year and half for Him to finally convince me I was fearfully and wonderfully made. He took the time to field all my arguments and put to rest my fears and convince me how I WAS fearfully and wonderfully made. He put great value on me – more value than the accuser could suppress or destroy. The time He spent with me doing that was very meaningful and convincing.
In Isaiah 1:18 He says, “Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord; though your sins are as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool.” Awesome. That’s what He wants for each of us. He wants to rectify the lies and accusations of the thief that have been oppressing us most of our lives, and set our spirits free. He wants to restore our proper self-concept, rooted in His image, not tossed to and fro by every whim of opinion that comes our way. This takes time. We have to learn that it is alright to be straight up with God – and He won’t condemn us or be shocked. He knows it all already so it’s nothing new to Him. In fact, He’s eagerly waiting for us (He already died for us to facilitate it happening) to talk straight with Him about the screwy motives and desires of our hearts (He knows them already – it won’t shock Him) so He can begin to sort out the lies and restore the truth that sets us free. He doesn't focus on actions so much as He does on convincing us of the surpassing value on better things. This changes our desires and builds new convictions. For from desires come actions. He changes the desires by winning our hearts. It’s a beautiful process. You’ll fall in love with Him as it happens. The time He spends with you becomes precious and beautiful. That’s why Satan tries to destroy our true value with lies, accusations and religious distortions to bring us into despair. He knows how awesome we become as God's love, delight and value form in us.
Here’s an example of how God reaches out to us. Remember when God knocked Saul off his horse in the Book of Acts? What did He say to him? Did He give him a command and say, “Saul, stop persecuting me?” No. He said, “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?” Saying someone’s name twice back then was a term of endearment and intimacy. He reached out in intimacy to Saul. Sweet. He wanted to engage in a relationship. And notice He didn’t command him to stop persecuting Him, He reached out and asked him “Why do you persecute me?”. He was going directly to Saul’s desires and motives, not his actions under the law. That’s where the real issue is. Satan wants us to focus on trying to change the fruit (actions) without first having God change the roots (desires) - through reasoning and convincing. That creates a form of godliness, a hollow one, that lacks the power thereof. Jesus knew if He could reason with Saul to give Him the proper desires and motives, the fulfillment of the law would naturally flow out of him. It wouldn’t just be a superficial, hollow, religious venture of obedience, but a deep, intimate experience of God’s power flowing into and through him and transforming His heart. Based on what I have learned of God in my journey out of striving under the law and condemnation into resting in His delight, I’ll bet Jesus may have said to him, “Saul, I love your spirit, you’re just going the wrong direction.” He never crushed his spirit, but always protected it. He didn’t beat it down, but redirected it. Our Savior is all about restoring, redirecting and protecting our spirit. Start reasoning with Him - and let Him restore and redirect your spirit. He will do it in the most loving manner you ever experienced.